So we’ve had something of an issue with this pregnancy. Not big medical problems, mind you, so we’re happy about that, but a fairly big issue, nonetheless. Our child is apparently afflicted with Stubborn Baby Syndrome.
- An inability to stay in one spot for even a freaking minute, 24/7, *ESPECIALLY* during sonograms.
- A constant need to punch, kick, or grab his mother’s internal organs and bones.
- A steadfast refusal to get the hell out of my wife!
This child is *NOT* budging, despite 70% effacement, 4 centimeter dilation, three false labors, and several natural labor induction techniques that he has apparently completely ignored.
Come on, kid, you had your 40 weeks, time to get up!
This does not bode well for the Hartley family’s future domestic tranquility…